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With God, pt. 1

With God, pt. 1
 

It was not that long ago that Winter 2014 wouldn’t end. Even for a winter/skiing/snow loving person like myself, winter just dragged! Like many others, I could not wait for warmer days and summer weather. For our family, this year the winter seemed even longer. It was not only long due to the cold weather but we had a very busy season and everyone in our family was constantly sick. There were colds, ear infections, stomach bugs, sinus infections and hospital stays. When May finally arrived, I was personally feeling deflated. I felt emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted. Sabbaths were shortened and being with God felt like a lot of aching silence.

To add to our busy schedule, the never ending colds and the spiritual drought I was experiencing, I was also having reoccurring feelings of anxiety. Our son was around 18 months at that time and I knew it was going to begin. I knew that people were going to begin asking me questions. Not difficult questions in their mind but challenging ones in mine. The questions I am referring to revolved around when we were going to have another child.

The thought of people asking me these questions again, over and over, caused me to steer clear of friendships and relationships I previously enjoyed. “When are you going to have your next kid?” That doesn’t seem to be a difficult question to face, but for me it was always challenging. Three years ago doctors told me that I would never get pregnant. This came after many years of not being able to get pregnant. It was difficult when people would become inquisitive of when my husband and I would finally have our “own” kids. When the miracle of our precious son arrived, I thought that I would have some time before those questions and those feelings would surface again. I initially felt some relief and I felt even more grateful and blessed by the little boy God had given us. My heart empathized with others who were struggling to find peace with infertility and I began praying for those around me who were struggling to have little ones.

What surprised me during this time was that I didn’t think I would desire another baby so quickly. I also was not expecting people to begin asking me about a potential second child. Nevertheless, there I was. It was a very busy season of ministry, our son was sick a lot, I was hospitalized, I was working it out with God about the desire to have another child and then all these questions were being asked. When would I finally have a second child? When you are not in a healthy place emotionally I am sure many of you could agree with me that we want to respond in sarcasm and little tact. And why not? Those questions were full of little tact! But those who know me, know I did not respond how I desired. I smiled and said that I would be blessed immensely to have another baby. I should note that I do not think anyone was intentional or desired to cause any harm by these questions. It was probably due to their curiosity and partly because that’s what the next step in their minds should be.

I am sharing this story openly with you because the last thing I wanted to read this spring was another book or story about a step by step plan for a great activity or event this summer. And I definitely was not prepared to study the top 10 steps to becoming a better leader. I love this type of reading, but for me, I wanted nothing more than to simply be with God. It is my guess that many of you could be feeling that same way right now.

withGod1

With God… simply.

Because being with God and resting in His arms shouldn’t be so complicated. However, like many of you, there is so much going on in our lives…we have our families, being a parent, cooking, cleaning, ministry, late night calls, board meetings, reports, leadership trainings, calendars, bible studies, prayer groups, church activities and functions, Sunday school, babysitters, family events, exercise, trying to be healthy, family time, dates with our spouses, difficult meetings with clients or staff, vision casting, programs to run, ministry events, student contacting, and the list goes on. Where does simply being with God fit it? What is missing from this list are the emotional stressors, fears, unfulfilled dreams or personal issues we don’t let others see or are sometimes hard to pinpoint in our own lives. The list also excludes personal tragedies or very difficult life situations you could be facing. So what happens when there is an event or situation where you need to wrestle, deal, cry and just be with God among all the other activities with our families and ministries?

I am not going to give you a step-by-step outline in this post like I have done in the past. I simply wanted to share and encourage anyone who reads this to stop what you are doing and just be with God. Take a few minutes to close your laptop, shut off the phone and sit and talk with Him. Just simply, be with God.

I know it’s what I needed this spring. To be reminded to simply be with Him, to remove some complications in my life and talk to him about my fears and own insecurities; to be vulnerable and open with Him.

There is no surprise ending to my story. I am not pregnant and life continues to have the same responsibilities. The difference is, this summer there are intentional boundaries and intentional times to simply be with God and marvel at his love, cry with Him and share the desires he created in me. I know my life doesn’t look the same as yours, but I am sure you are faced with different pressures, issues and/or insecurities. My encouragement for you is to take some time to simply be with God today. Even if it has been awhile and you aren’t sure where to start, just take some time.

May his love remind you how much he cares for you!

Meredith Dahl
Executive Directory at Cross Connection Ministries
Meredith is the Executive Director of Cross Connection Ministries in New Holland, PA. She has received a Bachelor of Science in Student Ministry and a Master of Arts in Ministry (Concentration in Student Ministry) from Lancaster Bible College. Meredith and her husband live in New Holland with their baby boy Liam and love living, working and volunteering in their community.
  1. Deb Turnow07-29-14

    Love this Meredith….thank you for your vulnerability and transparency.

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