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Child-like Faith, pt. 2  //  Learning to Trust Like a Toddler

04 Nov Spiritual Formation | Comments Off on Child-like Faith, pt. 2
Child-like Faith, pt. 2
 

About four months ago, I was babysitting my 2 year old granddaughter, Caia. I watched her as she walked across the kitchen and grabbed a small step stool. She struggled as she walked across the kitchen floor, half lifting, half dragging that stool that was almost as big as she was. She took it over to a stand in the living room that holds the family phone and the family basket – you know that basket that holds everything you can’t find another place for – that holds everything little girls shouldn’t have. I watched as she carefully climbed up the two steps and reached into the basket.

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I walked over and took hold of her hand and said, “Baby girl – there are things in that basket that could hurt you. I’m sorry but I can’t let you play with them.”

As I said those kind and loving words, I helped her walk down the steps. I picked up the stool and carried all the way to the other side of the kitchen where she had just gotten it. I turned to look at her and she crumbled into a pile of tears – yep – she went right down on the floor, buried her head in the carpet and cried like I had broken her little-girl heart.

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I got down on the floor with her and began to explain why I did what I did. I explained about how some things were dangerous for her, how she would be ready for them when she was a little older, and then I caught myself. I realized that no matter what I said or how I said it, her little two-year old brain did not have the capacity to understand it.

I did what I did out of love and to protect her but she saw just saw it as me being mean.

The irony wasn’t lost on me.

God does things or doesn’t do things, but he always acts out of love. I may not be able to see it because I have a two year old brain when it comes to the ways of God, but I am beginning to trust Him. Less and less do I find myself asking, “Why?!?” while kicking and screaming (yes – I have done that).

I am beginning to just lean into whatever is and trust that God knows best. I may not understand because I can only see what is right in front of me but he knows the plan… and I know Him.

…and that’s enough for me.

 

Deb Turnow
Executive Director at Kavanna House
Deb Turnow is the Executive Director of Kavanna House, a spiritual formation center in York, Pa. Prior to that role, she was the Director of Spiritual Direction at Living Word Community Church in York. She has a Bachelor Degree in Psychology from York College in Pennsylvania and a M.A. in Spiritual Formation and Leadership from Spring Arbor University. She is also a graduate of the Spiritual Guidance Program at Shalem Institute. She is currently studying at San Francisco Theological Seminary. She is a certified spiritual director and also provides supervision for spiritual directors. She and her husband Jeff, live in York, PA.